Returning To Work After Maternity Leave
In honour of World Mental Health Day, let’s talk about going back to work after maternity leave. This transition can stir up a huge mix of emotions. One day you might feel ready and excited to re-join the working world, eager to get back to your career and rediscover that part of yourself. The next day, you’re gripped with fear and guilt, wondering how you’ll cope with leaving your baby and feeling torn between two roles that mean everything to you.
It’s important to know that these emotions are so normal. You're not the only mum who’s felt conflicted about going back to work after maternity leave. Let’s dig into these feelings, because the more we understand them, the better we can manage them.
The Emotional Rollercoaster of Going Back to Work
1. The Fear of Leaving Your Baby
One of the most overwhelming feelings for many mums is the sheer fear of leaving your baby, even if you know they’ll be in safe hands. It’s not just a little nervousness; it can feel like a gut-wrenching fear that something could go wrong, or that your baby will feel abandoned. You may find yourself imagining all the "what ifs": What if they cry the whole day? What if they think I’m not coming back? What if they don’t bond with me as much anymore?
Leaving your baby for an entire workday can feel like leaving a piece of your heart behind, and that can be a terrifying thought. It’s completely natural to feel anxious about being apart, especially when you’ve been your baby’s whole world for those first few months. You might be used to knowing every little coo, every nap schedule, and suddenly the idea of missing those precious moments can feel really unsettling.
2. The Guilt of "Choosing" Work
For many mums, guilt is one of the heaviest emotions during the return to work. You might feel like you’re making a choice between your baby and your career - and no matter what decision you make, it feels like you’re letting someone down. Even though you know, logically, that working is necessary for your family or your personal goals, it can still feel like you’re not doing enough as a mum.
Shouldn’t I want to stay with my baby all the time?
What if my baby needs me and I’m not there?
Am I being selfish for wanting to go back to work?
These are all thoughts that can swirl around in your head, even though deep down, you know working doesn’t make you any less of a good mum. But that guilt - oh, it’s heavy. It can creep in during your commute, in meetings, or when you hear that first cry when you get home. And sometimes, even if you want to go back to work, you can still feel guilty for wanting that time for yourself.
3. Anxiety About Finding Balance
Then there’s the anxiety about how you’ll balance it all. You’ve spent months adapting to motherhood, learning how to care for your baby and finding some kind of rhythm (even if it’s chaotic!). Now, the idea of adding work on top of that can feel impossible. You may find yourself worrying about how you’ll handle the early mornings, the rushed drop-offs, the guilt when you can’t make it home for bedtime, or the pile of laundry waiting for you at the end of a long day. It’s a lot to carry.
How will I manage the house, work, and the baby?
Will I have the energy for it all?
The truth is, juggling work and motherhood is no easy task. It’s normal to feel anxious about how you’ll find time for everything and everyone, including yourself. But it's also important to remember that no one expects you to do it all perfectly. It’s a learning curve, and it’s okay to feel a little lost at first.
Coping with These Emotions: Practical Tips
With so many emotions swirling around - fear, guilt, anxiety - it’s important to find ways to cope, both mentally and physically. Returning to work doesn’t mean the end of your relationship with your baby or your ability to be an incredible mum. It’s about finding ways to manage the transition, and there are things you can do to make it easier.
1. Let Yourself Feel What You Feel
First things first, give yourself permission to feel these emotions. There’s no right or wrong way to handle the transition back to work, and it’s important to be kind to yourself. If you feel anxious or sad, that’s okay. If you feel excited and relieved, that’s okay too! The important thing is not to judge yourself for how you feel. Motherhood is complex, and so is the return to work.
2. Talk About It
One of the best ways to ease those overwhelming emotions is to talk about them. Whether it’s with your partner, friends, a fellow mum, or even a therapist, sharing your feelings can lift some of that emotional weight. You might find that many other mums feel exactly the same way, and just knowing you’re not alone can be incredibly comforting.
3. Prepare for the Transition
Preparation can help ease some of that anxiety. Start with small steps, like doing a few practice runs before your first official day back at work. Take your baby to the childminder or nursery for short periods to help both you and your baby adjust to the separation.
Create a routine that helps you feel in control - whether it’s laying out clothes the night before, packing bags early, or preparing meals in advance. Having a plan can make the mornings smoother and ease some of the chaos that often comes with a busy household.
4. Stay Connected with Your Baby
One of the hardest parts of returning to work is the fear of missing out on precious moments with your baby. To ease this, make time for special moments when you’re together, even if it’s short. It could be a cuddle before work, reading a book together before bed, or having a quiet moment during a feed. These small moments of connection can reassure you (and your baby!) that your bond is as strong as ever.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
Finally, be kind to yourself. You’re doing something really tough, and it’s okay if it doesn’t feel perfect. Be patient with yourself when things don’t go as planned, and remember that you’re navigating a huge life change. Take one day at a time, and know that you're doing an incredible job balancing work, motherhood, and everything in between.
You’ve Got This, Mum
Returning to work after maternity leave is a journey, filled with highs and lows. The emotions - fear, guilt, anxiety, and even joy - are all valid. But remember, you are capable of navigating this transition, and you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out for support, take care of yourself, and know that you’re doing your best.
This World Mental Health Day, let’s remind ourselves that our mental health matters just as much as our babies’ well-being. You are not just a mum - you’re a person with your own needs, and it’s okay to make space for them.
