Matrescence: What Is It and Why Is Everyone Talking About It?

Matrescence. It’s not just a fancy word you stumbled across while scrolling through social media. It’s a term that beautifully captures the often chaotic, transformative journey into motherhood. If you haven’t heard of it yet, don’t worry, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s only in recent years that this word has started getting the attention it truly deserves, and for good reason.

The term matrescence was coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael (yes, the same woman who brought the term "doula" into our lives) back in the 1970s. She used it to describe the physical, emotional, hormonal, and psychological shifts women experience when they become mothers. It’s essentially the motherhood equivalent of adolescence. Think mood swings, identity crises, and trying to understand a whole new version of yourself, just with fewer spots and more sleep deprivation.

Despite it being coined over 40 years ago, matrescence is having a bit of a moment right now, and it's about time!

Why Has Matrescence Been In the Spotlight Recently?

So why, after decades of being somewhat under the radar, is matrescence suddenly all over the media? I have a theory (or two).

Firstly, motherhood itself has been glorified and idealised for centuries. We’ve all seen those picture perfect Instagram feeds of smiling mums, happy babies, and not a speck of laundry in sight. But the truth is that behind every well filtered photo, there’s a woman grappling with her own identity as she transitions into motherhood. There’s been a growing recognition that the narrative around motherhood needs a serious overhaul and matrescence gives us the language to do that.

In recent years, there's been a wave of women (and experts!) saying, “Hold on a second, this transition is actually huge.” We've finally acknowledged that becoming a mum isn’t just about learning to change nappies or figuring out how to stop a baby from crying (though those are essential life skills). It’s about the complete reworking of you. Your body changes, your brain changes, your relationships change, and you change.

The media has picked up on this because, well, women have started demanding that we talk about it. The glossy, "everything’s fine" version of motherhood is fading, and in its place is a raw, real, and honest conversation about the challenges and beauty of this transformation. And let’s face it, we need this conversation. We need to normalise the messy parts of motherhood, the parts where we’re struggling, unsure of ourselves, and searching for who we are amidst all the baby paraphernalia.

Understanding Matrescence: Why It Matters

Let’s think about adolescence for a moment. When teenagers go through that tumultuous phase of mood swings, raging hormones, and identity crises, we accept it as part of growing up. We give them space, empathy, and tools to navigate it. But for some reason, we haven’t given new mums the same grace when they go through their own massive identity shift. Instead, we expect them to snap back (literally and figuratively) almost instantly.

That’s why understanding matrescence is so important. It helps us realise that the emotional upheaval, exhaustion, and even the loss of your old self is all part of a natural and necessary process. When you name it, it stops feeling so isolating and starts to feel like something you can navigate, however bumpy that road may be.

For many mums, myself included, the pressure to "be the perfect mum" or "have it all together" can be overwhelming. I mean, who knew we'd be learning to parent, rediscovering who we are, and doing it all on minimal sleep? That's why I created The Happy Mum Programme - to help women not just survive matrescence but actually thrive in it.

For many mums, myself included, the pressure to "be the perfect mum" or "have it all together" can be overwhelming. I mean, who knew we'd be learning to parent, rediscovering who we are, and doing it all on minimal sleep?

How the The Happy Mum Programme Can Help

As a cognitive behavioural hypnotherapist and a mum of two, I know first hand how challenging this transition can be. The Happy Mum Programme is designed to support you through matrescence with practical tools and strategies to help manage the emotional, physical, and mental shifts you’re experiencing. From re-framing unhelpful thoughts to addressing those moments of self-doubt (trust me, we all have them), the programme is there to help you find your footing amidst all the chaos.

It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being kind to yourself as you figure out this new version of you. You’re not just “becoming a mum”; you’re stepping into an entirely new phase of life, with all the highs, lows, and in-betweens that come with it. And let’s be honest, no one tells you just how crazy that shift can be!

The Bottom Line

Matrescence is real, it’s powerful, and it’s something every mum goes through, whether you realise it or not. Having a word for it, and understanding that it’s a process, not a destination, can make all the difference. There’s no magic finish line where you’ll wake up one day and say, “Yep, I’ve got this motherhood thing 100% sorted.” But knowing that matrescence is part of the journey can help you be kinder to yourself as you go through it.

And remember, you’re not alone. We’re all in this matrescence club together, figuring it out one baby wipe at a time.

So, next time you feel like you’re losing yourself a bit or wondering why this whole motherhood thing feels so overwhelming, just remind yourself: you’re going through a transformation. It’s messy, it’s beautiful, and it’s all part of becoming the incredible mum you already are.

And if you ever need a helping hand along the way, you know where to find me.